Celebrity Deathmatch: Goldberg v. Stewart

Today's bitchometer rating: 3--satisfactorily bitchy

After seeing Jon Stewart open up a can of snarky irony on conservative whiner Bernard Goldberg on last night's Daily Show, I fell in love with the man (Stewart, not Goldberg) all over again. Goldberg's latest tome o'complaints, 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America, drew uncharacteristic ire from Stewart, who recognized the book for what it is: irrelevant tripe. Goldie came out complaining about the way "the culture" has deteriorated in the last few years. Hmmm. Seems like I've read this book before. Alan Bloom, anyone? Jonnie Boy noted that elitists have been bitching likewise since the days of good old Aristotle and quickly called Goldie out, questioning chiefly not the content of the book (though Stewie definitely took him down for that too) but rather its entire premise. Its raison d'etre, in other words:

Goldberg: We're in the middle of a culture war...

Stewart: But it seems fake to me! The culture war seems fake to me.

Jon (rightly) pointed out to the initially-protesting, finally-bewildered Goldie that "culture" is made by those in power--not in Hollywood, but in DC. That's where Goldie ought to look if he's got problems with American "culture." Stewart managed to be hardass and freaking hilarious at the same time. When Goldberg started preaching, "Once upon a time, a drunk in a bar..." Jon interrupted with "Don't talk about my father!" But Jon let the frustrated Goldie continue digging into what would become, in my opinion, one of the funniest exchanges of the interview:

Goldberg: Once upon a time, not too many years ago, a drunk in a bar wouldn't use the F-word. Now, he may be your pal, but Chevy Chase goes to the Kennedy Center in Washington DC at a gala where people are wearing tuxedos and gowns and calls the president of the United States a 'dumb...blank.'

Stewart: Once upon a time, Thomas Jefferson fucked slaves!

Yowza. Big applause and whoops for my man. Then,

Stewart: What I'm suggesting is, yes, Chevy Chase used a bad word on TV at the Kennedy Center, but segregation no longer exists. Slavery is gone. Like, that's real culture and real vulgarity. This is just words!

Goldberg: Every time...(interrupted by lingering applause for Stewart) Okay, just words, let's see if everybody claps over just words. Let's say we had a, a Bigot Channel, okay?

Stewart: We do!

Zing! Jon's audience cheered and jeered, as did I; even sitting at home alone with my dogs, I cheered out loud and loved Jon with all my heart.

Until next time,
The Bitchy Blonde